Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
