Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
