I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
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Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
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Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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