Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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