4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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