i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
