Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
