I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
