So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
