using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
