i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Sorry about my life...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
