I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
