I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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