i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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