i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Dick very happy bro
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
