allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
