what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
