First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
