"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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