Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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