grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
