so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
