She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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