I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
