she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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