oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
