that's an acceptable place to lick
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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