Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
All the doctor said was why
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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