his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
