i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
soo... how was my night?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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