He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
