so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You're like the curious george of whores
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
