Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
