Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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