i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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