That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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