Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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