I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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