singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize