What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
