my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
