How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
