You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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