At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
