So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
So apparently I’m into choking now
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