Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
