mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
