There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
