it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
