I should be sponsored by Trojan
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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