Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Plan B is the new Plan A
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
