we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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