Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Please don't give away my fajitas
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
