You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Randomize
