my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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