my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
how do you play pong handcuffed?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
