Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
